Finding Your Purpose

0:00:00 – (Steve Gray): Hello, everybody. Welcome again to a More Faith, More Life podcast. I’m sitting here with my wife Kathy, and we’re going to talk together as we get into the things of God and all the new things that are happening in the world today. I want to talk about God’s purpose. God has a purpose. And I was thinking the scripture just a few minutes ago, Kathy, about, you know, all people have used this. All things work together for good.

0:00:23 – (Steve Gray): Can I back up on that before I finish it? A lot of people. Have you ever heard them say, well, well, I believe. What is it like? Everything happens for a reason.

0:00:31 – (Kathy Gray): For a reason.

0:00:32 – (Steve Gray): And. And I tell them, well, yeah, but sometimes the reason is to ruin your life. So you got to get God. All things work together for good. You got to define the all things.

0:00:45 – (Kathy Gray): The all things.

0:00:45 – (Steve Gray): And that means everything God’s got, he’ll throw at you for your good. But it is for those who love God.

0:00:54 – (Kathy Gray): Yes.

0:00:55 – (Steve Gray): And are the called ones or called according to his purpose. Purpose. So if you want to get God, all of God’s got. You got to love God, but you got to find his purpose for your life. And then he gets, I don’t know, behind you, side you. Maybe in front of you.

0:01:17 – (Kathy Gray): Yeah, yeah. But how do people find their purpose? Then? What is the way? Because I know a lot of people are asking that, what is my purpose? Because kind of a purposeless generation out there.

0:01:30 – (Steve Gray): Yeah, yeah. So that’s changing. What. What did you just tell me?

0:01:34 – (Kathy Gray): Yeah, I saw an article and a little video about it that Bible sales are way up, even more than ever, because young adults, the younger generation, are buying Bibles. Yeah, they’re buying them because they’re trying to find out their purpose and truth. And, you know, there’s been a lot of untruth bombarding us and bombarding them, and now they’re turning to the Bible, reading it, studying it to find truth, but to find their purpose.

0:02:11 – (Steve Gray): So you’re saying Bible sales are way up right now?

0:02:14 – (Kathy Gray): Way up.

0:02:15 – (Steve Gray): Well, now’s a great time. You could go get a job, go make some money for us. Go out there. I can just see you selling Bibles on the street corner. No, but that is great news. Well, that’s a place to start when you. God’s purpose. Can I just. You know, sometimes I like to remove the clutter and say things that nobody else will say. Well, some say, but most won’t say. Most are so trying to be so sensitive to everybody that they can’t help anybody.

0:02:42 – (Steve Gray): Sometimes. But okay. Called according to his purpose. And how do you find God’s purpose? Here’s the problem, Ken. Most people will never find God’s purpose. You know why? Because their purpose is them. They’re. They’re trying to find their purpose, not God’s purpose. Well, yes, and I deal with that with people, unfortunately, all the time. I have it. I’m not going to say too much, but I, in my mind, a few examples are going to where I see people, they want to go do this, they want to go do that, you know, and.

0:03:16 – (Steve Gray): But I look and I’m like, that’s not what you’re supposed to be. You’re doing. You’re trying to find something to make you feel better about yourself. Do you know how many we don’t know? There’s got to be a huge amount of people who preach every Sunday from a pulpit to feel better about themselves. That’s why the messages are so weak. Because what is it the Bible says? They said? I don’t speak to please men.

0:03:43 – (Steve Gray): I speak to please God. Then people will find their purpose through the preaching of the word of God. Is one correct reading the word of God. But the only thing where John the Baptist hit it right away. He said, I got a decrease. Jesus hit it says, you have to lose. You have to yourself. Don’t go out and try to find yourself. And a lot of people, they’re trying to find their ministry and find. They’re trying to find themselves.

0:04:08 – (Steve Gray): Yes, lose yourself. Right?

0:04:10 – (Kathy Gray): Yeah.

0:04:10 – (Steve Gray): Decrease.

0:04:11 – (Kathy Gray): Yes.

0:04:11 – (Steve Gray): Beyond the decrease.

0:04:13 – (Kathy Gray): Right.

0:04:13 – (Steve Gray): And. But it’s. So we try to figure out why there’s so much weak preaching and psychology. And in one of my books, I think my absurd Religion, I write that it’s actually people are preaching Sigmund Freud. Freudism. They’re not preaching Christianity. Also, you mentioned me the other day. I need to write on this and preach on this. The commercialized Jesus. It’s the Jesus commercialized. Because anybody listening right now, if they got a job, they can go to work, start a conversation about God or Jesus or some of the alternate lifestyles going on. Whatever you want, politics, whatever you want.

0:04:50 – (Steve Gray): And whoever you’re talking to will probably inevitably tell you how Jesus feels about it or what God thinks about it. Well, you know God, and they’ll tell you what God thinks. Well, these are people that they don’t know anything about God. They don’t know anything about God. They’re not serving God with a purpose. But everybody kind of believes that they got this figured out. And the reason being is that they’re not getting truth and they’re not Getting that purpose. They’re not finding the purpose. Cause you’re right. We have a generation trying to.

0:05:20 – (Steve Gray): One guy, one guy told me the other day, he said to me, he says, you know, I’m having my son’s. He says, I’m having my son’s bedroom remodeled and I’m turning it into an office. Maybe that’ll get him to move out. That’s what he said.

0:05:39 – (Kathy Gray): Oh, gotcha. Has no purpose.

0:05:42 – (Steve Gray): Yeah, he graduated. Another guy, I was talking to another guy the other day, he says, yeah, he says, I’m really concerned about my, my son. He’s going to graduate with a business degree. He said that’ll for sure cause him to move back home. Oh. Because what do you think? Like, what do you do with them? Yeah. With a business and other degrees. Yeah. But anyway.

0:06:01 – (Kathy Gray): Yeah, yeah.

0:06:02 – (Steve Gray): So purpose is really, really important today and finding it. So first of all, we have to see the, the maybe psychology mental mindset that I am. Am I ask the question, am I on set on myself? And really I’m trying to find a purpose that makes me feel good about me. You know, what I do, I’ve been doing for years. I want people to feel good about God. If you find good about God, if you can find your purpose in God, you’ll find your purpose of your life.

0:06:40 – (Steve Gray): You know, have. What is it people today, Kathy, they, what do they call it when they want to feel good about themselves and self-image and oh yeah, you know, my self-image and I have a low self-image and all. You find the God’s purpose for your life and you’ll never feel like you have a low self-esteem again.

0:07:00 – (Kathy Gray): Yes.

0:07:01 – (Steve Gray): You find self-esteem in somebody else, not in self.

0:07:06 – (Kathy Gray): So powerful.

0:07:07 – (Steve Gray): Isn’t that something?

0:07:07 – (Kathy Gray): Yeah, yeah, I found it.

0:07:10 – (Steve Gray): Yeah.

0:07:10 – (Kathy Gray): So contrary.

0:07:11 – (Steve Gray): You find self-esteem in Christianity, in God’s kingdom, you find self-esteem by esteeming God and then you get esteemed. Because I remember I told our friend Frank the other day, I was talking to him on the phone and I said, when we first started out, a lady came to me and I was just, I hadn’t even preached sermon yet, but you know, people were sensing I was kind of up and coming, but I hadn’t preached much yet.

0:07:37 – (Steve Gray): And she said to me, Steve, I want you to remember this the rest of your life. She said, if God lifts you up, if God is lifting you up, you don’t have to. Wow. I took that to heart. So I said, well then if I lift up God, then he’s going to lift me up and I don’t have to. That saves a. I guess it saves a lot of time. I guess this is the same thing of the scripture. Seek first the kingdom of God and all these things will be added or given to you.

0:08:09 – (Steve Gray): So okay, are things in that scripture, Kathy? Are things bad?

0:08:14 – (Kathy Gray): No.

0:08:15 – (Steve Gray): And what does the Bible say? God knows what?

0:08:18 – (Kathy Gray): That we have need of all those things.

0:08:20 – (Steve Gray): Yeah, we have all those things. In fact, it says God knows what you need before you even ask.

0:08:26 – (Kathy Gray): Yes.

0:08:27 – (Steve Gray): So I always thought, why ask if God knows I have need? Just come on God, do it. Which is the way a lot of people treat God. You know why? Because he wants me to involve him in my purpose and in my needs and in my life. So I have to ask. Ask and it shall be given to you.

0:08:46 – (Kathy Gray): So good.

0:08:47 – (Steve Gray): Not. Not. Not dream.

0:08:49 – (Kathy Gray): Yeah.

0:08:49 – (Steve Gray): Or hope or wish. Well, I shouldn’t say hope, but wish upon a star. Right. Okay. So anyway, that’s the biggest reason people don’t find their purpose is because they found their purpose because it says called according to God. And so their purpose is them. And let’s just admit that’s what it is. You know, you, we talk about, you know, we would, we should probably, you and I should probably talk more about marriage and relationships, family, children.

0:09:21 – (Steve Gray): But divorce really happens because people have found their purpose. It’s them. And they get married to have somebody else help them find and fulfill their purpose. You don’t get married so that other person can fulfill you. You get married to fill somebody else’s. You become a Christian to fulfill Jesus purpose.

0:09:46 – (Kathy Gray): Right.

0:09:47 – (Steve Gray): God’s purpose in the kingdom of God, then it works. So that’s the first uncertain. I mean, you know, if the foundation is wrong, your whole life’s going to be wrong. And if we call ourselves a Christian, but it’s really a self-centered commercialized Jesus. And I didn’t say what that is. The commercialized, the Jesus. The commercialized Jesus that I brought up. Like people at work talk like they know Jesus. What’s the commercialized one?

0:10:13 – (Steve Gray): Who’s really concerned how you feel today and how you’re viewing yourself today and what you’re going to do to improve your self-esteem today. And big one. And to make sure, Kathy, you don’t get your feelings hurt today.

0:10:31 – (Kathy Gray): Oh my.

0:10:32 – (Steve Gray): That’s the God they know.

0:10:33 – (Kathy Gray): Oh my.

0:10:34 – (Steve Gray): And that’s when you talk to them about what God’s doing in the world today. These people who don’t even know God will then begin to tell you, well, you know, God loves God, love. And now they’ll spring out from that. Not Realizing the people are hurting and they’re making bad decisions, bad decisions, because they don’t have God’s purpose. They have their purpose and their purpose is them. And they’re. So they try this, they try that, they get married, they get divorced, they join alternate lifestyle. I’ll just say that one. They get involved in all kinds of stuff and really they’re trying to find purpose and so called, according to his purpose, God’s purpose. So that’s the first part that I think is important.

0:11:17 – (Steve Gray): And then once you get there, then you now have to filter through not only, okay, this is God’s purpose, but how do I get to where I’m doing it? Right? And here’s the starting point. Also a mistake that people make. Here’s the starting point. You start when you. It seems almost contradictory, but once you decide it’s a mental mind, you know, the renewing of your mind. The Bible says, right, let’s go there.

0:11:45 – (Steve Gray): So he says, if you renew your mind, then you will know what, what God’s will is. His perfect. What is that? His perfect. His good and good and perfect will.

0:11:57 – (Kathy Gray): There’s another word too.

0:11:59 – (Steve Gray): But you’ll find the will of God. Okay, so, so finding, Renewing your mind on what God’s purpose is for you.

0:12:08 – (Kathy Gray): Yes.

0:12:08 – (Steve Gray): Okay, then the surprise, in my opinion, the surprise comes once you renew your mindset. My purpose is now God. I have to find God’s purpose. All right, then, whoa. He pulls you back and says, okay, here, let me tell you what my purpose is. To start, I want you to use all that you have, all that, you know, all you can do for me.

0:12:32 – (Kathy Gray): Yeah.

0:12:33 – (Steve Gray): He said, he’s not going to say like, okay, I want you to, I want you to go out and stand in a thunderstorm and lightning will strike you, and all of a sudden you’re going to become a prophet. You’re going to become an apostle. You’re going to wake up prophet Kathy. And then I want. My purpose is you go out and start prophesying. Doesn’t work that way. But that’s what a lot of people think. Or they’re waiting around to wake up. And one day, I know God promised me, my mom prophesied over me that I’m going to be a prophet.

0:13:02 – (Steve Gray): I’m just waiting and no, no, it doesn’t work that way. Okay, so you want to find God’s purpose. So that’s first it, God is your purpose. After that, then God surprises, says, now here’s what I want you to do. I want you to take everything you can already do. Already do. Let’s say it again, right? Already do what? You already are. All that, all that you. And I want you to focus that and aim that towards me.

0:13:31 – (Steve Gray): But so many other people, they falter because oh, if I’m going to do something for God, then something new has to happen to me, right?

0:13:40 – (Kathy Gray): Yes.

0:13:41 – (Steve Gray): A new experience. So I’m waiting for something new, a new or a new word, some God. Somebody’s going to give me a prophecy or I’m going to get a word from God, or I’m going to wake up and have a healing ministry or somebody’s going to lay hands on me and I’m going to have a healing ministry. It doesn’t start there because if you don’t get the renewed mind on my purpose is God, you’ll start. I’ve seen it. I’ve said this is the true story. It’s unfortunate, but it’s true.

0:14:07 – (Steve Gray): People start a healing ministry or they call themselves apostle somebody or prophet somebody, but the root is wrong because the purpose is what they’re doing it to feel good about themselves. A self-purpose. So it’s going to falter and people. And then you’re going to get frustrated. How many people come to me in our church and they say I’m prophet, so. And so we don’t know who they are really, but. And I’m here to prophesy and God sent me to give you a word. And then we don’t let them give a word and they get frustrated and sometimes I’ve talked, they’re so angry.

0:14:42 – (Steve Gray): My last church, my last pastor, he wouldn’t let me be a prophet in the church. So I left. Now I’ve come to your church and I go like, you know why? Because you’re prophesying to feel good about yourself. You’re not prophesying to help other people.

0:14:58 – (Kathy Gray): Yeah.

0:14:59 – (Steve Gray): And you can see it, you know, have you ever seen those prophets go around and they have a word for everybody all over and it’s always like, here’s my word, here’s the word of the Lord. You’re going to have a great ministry and all the money’s going to start coming in your blessings. Just around the corner. I heard one lady walked up to a guy, you could tell as a visitor, he didn’t know what was going on. He’s a first time visitor and prophesied him. And God tells me you’re going to be part of the five-fold ministry. Apostle, prophet, evangelist, pastor. I’m going like, are you kidding me? You are saying that so that the congregation goes ooh oh, oh, oh, you’re such a.

0:15:39 – (Steve Gray): Oh, you have such a word from God for everybody. But that just. That could destroy that person. That person’s first doesn’t even know God. So anyway. Yeah, so there’s. Where people use what you have. Start on ground level. Level one is everything I have. All that I’ve experienced, the good and the bad, every hurt, every success, every wonderful thought, every difficult time, I’m going to aim all of that into God’s purpose.

0:16:16 – (Kathy Gray): Yes.

0:16:17 – (Steve Gray): Then after you get to there, then you find out God’s purpose is a lot bigger than that. And he’ll increase your purpose by using what you have, not what you don’t have. And so when, you know, the revival started and I went from a country preacher, and all of a sudden I have a national, and then it’s international and, you know, people, we’re going over to Japan and I’m seeing posters of me and you, but me in Japanese all over Tokyo. You know, he’s in town now.

0:16:55 – (Steve Gray): Well, you know, if I go there to just do feel good about myself, then it’s not. Not going to work.

0:17:02 – (Kathy Gray): No.

0:17:02 – (Steve Gray): But God took me and sent me, and guess what? I got to be me. Because I’d taken who I am and forged it through prayer and fasting and prayer and reading the Bible and just growing up in God and renewing my mind, all those things.

0:17:25 – (Kathy Gray): Yeah.

0:17:25 – (Steve Gray): And now I don’t have to become a prophet. Or how about those people that have a voice change when they pray, like, they talk normal and let us pray. Oh, thou wast, greatest goddess. Oh, thou God, thou in heaven. And I’m going like, that’s not you.

0:17:41 – (Kathy Gray): No, no.

0:17:43 – (Steve Gray): You know how many hundreds of times I’ve had particularly worship leaders come to me and say, you know, I want. I feel like I got to get up there and lead worship, but I just don’t want it to be me. And you know, most of the time when that happens, it’s as dull as can be.

0:18:00 – (Kathy Gray): Yeah.

0:18:00 – (Steve Gray): Because of course it’s going to be you. Who do you think it’s going to be? And as I always answer, right, well, let’s pray it’s not somebody else.

0:18:08 – (Kathy Gray): Yeah.

0:18:10 – (Steve Gray): Come on. See, they’re no good.

0:18:12 – (Kathy Gray): Right.

0:18:13 – (Steve Gray): Because God wants to use you.

0:18:16 – (Kathy Gray): Yes. And, you know, you taught me that when I would sometimes when I preaching, you know, or when I would have the opportunity to preach in the earlier days, too, and I would just be in a tizzy and spending hours and hours and hours preparing all this material and studying and studying. And you Know, having big, long notes, and I’d be like a nervous wreck, to be honest. And you would help me and you would instruct me and say, Kathy, they’re not interested in all your information or your big revelation. That’s not what these people need. These people need who you are, who you have become through all your life experiences and your faith walk and, you know, having me, Steve Gray, teach me and train me.

0:19:04 – (Kathy Gray): But the people need who I am. And so I finally had to learn. I’m not doing this, you know, to prove all of them. I’m a scholar or I’m a prophet or, you know, or to feel good about myself. I’m doing this because the people need who I’ve become, actually. And that information coming through me. And you taught me that. And I don’t think many preachers understand that.

0:19:30 – (Steve Gray): Not many people understand that. Two things I remember about that is, I would teach you and others, I’d say, okay, I take a scripture everybody knows, like John 3:16, for God so loved the world. And I tell him, look, I have heard that preached what, Thousand times, but I’ve never heard you preach it. Yes, that’s the key.

0:19:50 – (Kathy Gray): Yeah.

0:19:51 – (Steve Gray): I’ve never heard you preach it. It’s the you that people forget. And then the other thing, people, when you started out and you were in the tizzy is I told you. I said, look. And by the way, folks, this isn’t this. Kathy’s an excellent student. She loves to study. You know, some people study because they have to. You love. You enjoy the process of a sermon. I do. Don’t you? I know. I watch you enjoy the process of creativity.

0:20:22 – (Kathy Gray): Right.

0:20:23 – (Steve Gray): I want to create this sermon for you, okay? And I know you enjoy that and you spend a lot of time in it. And a couple of times, I think just maybe a couple of times over the years, I’ve suggested to you, you know, Kathy, I think you got enough. You can stop now. And you know why? Because I told you this overload. Yeah. Because when people listen to sermons, and probably anything but when they listen to sermons, they remember only a little bit of what you say.

0:20:50 – (Steve Gray): What they remember is you.

0:20:52 – (Kathy Gray): Yes.

0:20:53 – (Steve Gray): And if they remember. And that’s where the people make the mistake. They’re so busy trying to get them to what they say that they don’t give them any of you.

0:21:00 – (Kathy Gray): Right?

0:21:01 – (Steve Gray): But the biggest portion of what they remember is you. So when they want more information or they want to invite you back to speak, or they want to invite you to do something, you know what they think of, they don’t think, oh yeah, I remember you. And they invite you back, or me back, or whoever it is you get invited back. Then once they accept you and they want the you now, you can teach almost anything you want. Yeah, I guess it’s okay to tell this story.

0:21:36 – (Steve Gray): When the especially revival days were starting. And Now I’m preaching five days a week, sometimes 10 days a week. Now you say there ain’t 10 days in a week. Well, that’s if you double it up. Not 10, 10 sermons a week. Because we do the church. Then we fly somewhere. I have to preach maybe four or five more sermons in another town. Then we fly back and more and. And I’m thinking like I’m doing all this preaching and it’s tiring a little bit. I don’t ever admit tiring, but you know, it was a good kind of thing, you know, good kind of wear down. This is why, you know, what I was born for.

0:22:09 – (Steve Gray): And I thought, God, how can I be more effective and reach more people? And so one night we came home or whatever, I flipped on the tv, actually going to try to catch the news, but I missed the news. News is what, 10 o’clock news or whatever. I missed the news. And I think it was like somebody like David Letterman or somebody, he’s retired now. You’ve seen he’s got this great big beard now, he’s really retired.

0:22:33 – (Steve Gray): But I think David Letterman was on and I’m watching him and he’s giving his monologue the front and he’s wrecking the president. He’s making fun of the president or politician or the world or his city or NBC or whatever. I’m thinking like he gets to say anything he wants. And the people laugh and they clap and they smile and he smiles and he sits down and the guest comes out and everybody’s happy. He said, how come he gets to say everything he wants?

0:23:03 – (Steve Gray): But when I preach, I’m like, I don’t know if I should say that or can you do that or what? And then that’s when I told you that. I said, you know why he gets to say everything he wants, anytime he wants? Because people love like him. And I said that to you. I said, you know, Kathy, if I can develop a better, maybe not better personality, but if I can become likable, more likable, right? I’ll get to say anything I want or most anything I want.

0:23:31 – (Steve Gray): And that worked, didn’t it?

0:23:32 – (Kathy Gray): Yeah.

0:23:32 – (Steve Gray): So when I would go to these towns and people didn’t know me, or countries and people didn’t know me. I thought, you know, I’m going to be me. So people say, well, I don’t want it to be me. I thought, I have to be me. I have to develop me into the person that God wants me to be. According to his purpose, of course. And so I did. And I found out when people started liking me. So I told stories on myself, laughed at myself, laughed at religion, whatever, you know, and told stories on you.

0:24:04 – (Steve Gray): I don’t know if you liked it, but they did.

0:24:07 – (Kathy Gray): Most of them were okay.

0:24:09 – (Steve Gray): Yeah, most of them were okay. And then I found out I can preach about anything. And I was a strong. I mean, I preach strong things. And it was really fun too, when you say such strong things and then just kind of laugh a little bit about it. Like, I still like you guys. I just wanted you to know this. Nothing personal, you know. And I got to preach all over the world and I still do it. I say about anything. I want if you have that likability.

0:24:37 – (Steve Gray): So I want to back up with that purpose. Purpose is you let God develop you before you look for something new. New comes later, right? If you think, you know, my grandma laid hands on me and said, you’re going to be a prophet, maybe you will, but not till you develop you. If you don’t develop you, your character will not be good and then you’ll be weak because it’s still self. Then you’re going to be offended.

0:25:06 – (Steve Gray): Then you’re going to want to say, well, they’re not paying me enough money or they don’t appreciate me or how did I do tonight, Kathy? Did I do okay? I really, I’m a little. I hope I did okay, you know, I just nervous, you know, and it’s all about you, me, me, me. Okay, deliver us from that. Yes, deliver us from secretly living a life of self-purpose.

0:25:30 – (Kathy Gray): That’s right.

0:25:30 – (Steve Gray): When we’re pretending. You and I have been throwing around the term nominal Christian, which is what? It’s just. What is it?

0:25:39 – (Kathy Gray): In name only, Name only. It’s just a name only because a.

0:25:44 – (Steve Gray): True believer is a servant and a server and a lover of God and all those things. People know that already.

0:25:50 – (Kathy Gray): I don’t know if I can just interject this here. I like to tell stories about you sometimes. But for instance, I’ve watched you for many, many years now, growing in God, yielding to his character training and humbling yourself and going through circumstances with, you know, as a pastor. It gets kind of hard sometimes, you know. But you always took things with humility, with grace, with saying What’s. Well, what is wrong with me then?

0:26:24 – (Kathy Gray): What’s wrong with me? And then when it came time for the Smithson outpouring and people were starting to come by droves in, and finally a reporter asked you, wow, don’t you just feel so good about yourself? Doesn’t this make you feel good? And you and I decided, you know what? It was such a spiritual constant battle and intensity to move with this revival and the power of God and everything. We didn’t have time to feel anything about ourselves.

0:27:01 – (Kathy Gray): And I remember you would tell me that occasionally, you know, people say, doesn’t this make you feel good? And you’d say, I don’t have time to feel anything about myself. And I love that principle. Making you effective.

0:27:15 – (Steve Gray): Yeah. I remember that reporter asked me, doesn’t this make you feel good about yourself? And I said, no, it does. It doesn’t make me feel good about myself. And then he said, well, then does. What’s the opposite of it? Does that make you feel bad about yourself? And I said, no, it doesn’t make me feel bad about myself. It doesn’t make me feel anything about myself.

0:27:37 – (Kathy Gray): Exactly.

0:27:38 – (Steve Gray): Because the idea is to lose myself into this. So I’m not trying to feel good about myself.

0:27:45 – (Kathy Gray): Have his purpose, according to his purpose.

0:27:48 – (Steve Gray): No. One of the questions you asked me earlier, before we started, was, has there ever been a time when you maybe God was wanting to guide me in an unexpected way? Do you remember you mentioned that? You mentioned that question. Yeah. You felt God guiding you in a. And I was thinking about it. I was in this chair just before we started. I thought, what direction do I go with that? Because obviously it is. And, you know, I don’t. I’ve never. We’ve never talked about this to anybody in public.

0:28:21 – (Steve Gray): But I have an example. Some people that know us know this already, some that don’t, but we ended up getting involved in foster care, right? And all of a sudden we had. Do you remember we actually had four teenage daughters in our house for years. Number of years now, foster care. Some come, some go, praise God, some stayed, some are with us today, right? And we adopted some. But anyway, four teenage girls, and we’re ministering and we’re traveling. All of a sudden like that.

0:28:59 – (Steve Gray): You know what? I just never expected to be a dad instantly. It’s not like they got to start in diapers and come up and give you practice. You know, you didn’t get to practice. Bang. And there we were. And we. I remember we had to think, like, we got to buy Christmas Presents for four teenage girls. They were close to the same age, just about two or three years difference. So they’re going to all want the same thing. That’s where you tell the story. Where for?

0:29:26 – (Steve Gray): For our girl from Mexico. We had a girl from Mexico living with us. And you bought Bobbie.

0:29:31 – (Kathy Gray): She was an exchange student.

0:29:32 – (Steve Gray): Exchange student, yeah. Thank you. Not. She was not foster care, you’re right. But she was there at the same time.

0:29:36 – (Kathy Gray): Yeah.

0:29:37 – (Steve Gray): And you bought Bobbie.

0:29:39 – (Kathy Gray): Yeah.

0:29:39 – (Steve Gray): Our daughter a special, special, special sweater for Christmas. But you wrapped it and put the wrong name on it. And we had to watch the face of Bobbie as our exchange student opened it. And she’s so happy. She. Oh, I love this sweater. And Bobbie’s face goes down like, you know. But you know what? I had to step in to something because by that time we were established, we’d been in the ministry. We’re okay. We have a church. The church is doing fine.

0:30:09 – (Steve Gray): It was before the world ministry. So I wasn’t a world international minister at that time, but just local country, but still unexpected. I did not expect that we would have be foster care, exchange student, adoption. And I had to not only be the pastor of that church down the street. Suddenly, unexpectedly, I’m the dad of four girls. And how do you do that? Well, you know what normally would happen and I didn’t do it. But what would normally happen?

0:30:49 – (Steve Gray): Girls. Whether girls or boys doesn’t matter. But all of a sudden you find these teenagers in your house. Well, most men are going. I should have you say it. Really. Most men in our culture today, what’s going to be the adjustment? They’re going to pull back. Pull back. Well, they already.

0:31:06 – (Kathy Gray): Yeah. And let the wife.

0:31:07 – (Steve Gray): But the wife’s going to do everything. So the wife now is going to. Even if just because it’s girls. That’s what you’d think. Well, let the wife do it. But it could have been boys. But anyway, so. So all of a sudden Kathy is going to make sure they do their homework. Kathy’s going to make sure they have laundry. Kathy’s going to make sure they don’t have bad friends. Kathy’s going to make sure they don’t get a stupid boyfriend. Kathy’s going to.

0:31:28 – (Steve Gray): Kathy, Kathy, Kathy. That’s the norm. And oh, plus Kathy’s going to pay the bills because I don’t know anything. I don’t know any bill. I don’t know what I don’t know. I just come home, you know. But that’s where my life. My life changed there too.

0:31:46 – (Kathy Gray): Yeah.

0:31:47 – (Steve Gray): So I took I took the pastoral thought.

0:31:50 – (Kathy Gray): Good.

0:31:51 – (Steve Gray): The pastoral thought of what is a pastor and. And purpose. So now I have a new purpose. And it’s not me, it’s these four girls. And I thought, I need to now serve the Lord with who I am for these four girls without losing anything over at the church. A challenge. Yes. But I jumped in, didn’t I?

0:32:13 – (Kathy Gray): Yeah, you did.

0:32:13 – (Steve Gray): So all of a sudden, my new skill is, have you done your homework? And then sitting down. I remember with Bobbie, we’d sit down and I enjoyed it. She didn’t like it so much. Let’s go over your history, because I like.

0:32:25 – (Kathy Gray): Or geography.

0:32:26 – (Steve Gray): Or geography. But she didn’t like that either. And I’d like it. And I’m sitting down and I’m doing homework. You know what? I worked all day. I worked on sermons. I heard people’s problems. I counseled marriages. And then now. And besides that, we do homework. I would talk life to them every opportunity I had. I became a pastor, dad. And then.

0:32:51 – (Kathy Gray): Yeah.

0:32:52 – (Steve Gray): They all go to bed. Right. And guess what I had to do after that? Work.

0:32:56 – (Kathy Gray): Work.

0:32:57 – (Steve Gray): Because there were still phone calls or pastoring or studying or. And I. And I took over paying the bills, remember?

0:33:04 – (Kathy Gray): Oh, yeah.

0:33:04 – (Steve Gray): I said, I’m going to pay the bills. I am now. You know, they said, the husband say, I’m the man of the house. You know what that means? You know, I’m the head of the house. That’s what some say. The man, you know, God made me the head of the house. Yeah. You know what that means, guys? You’re responsible for everything. Then if you’re going to be the head, you’re responsible. She’s not. They’re not. The dog’s not.

0:33:25 – (Steve Gray): Now everybody’s. I involved you. We’re involved. We’re a team. I don’t want to make it sound like that, but. But that was the difference. Almost everybody we knew, the wife was leading, doing, organizing, and knew everything.

0:33:40 – (Kathy Gray): Yeah.

0:33:40 – (Steve Gray): And the husband knew nothing. And then there were starting to be some divorce in our churches. And I said, how could this be?

0:33:48 – (Kathy Gray): Yeah.

0:33:49 – (Steve Gray): And we would counsel with them. And almost 100% when they come in, and they. Well, sometimes just the wife would come in because she couldn’t even get the husband to come in and talk to us. And what. We listen. And what was the problem? Almost 100%.

0:34:03 – (Kathy Gray): Yeah. The wife did it all.

0:34:05 – (Steve Gray): And what was she. Complain. That’s a complaint.

0:34:07 – (Kathy Gray): Complaining about. The husband does nothing.

0:34:09 – (Steve Gray): Nothing. And some of them, Kathy, were thinking, I might as well be single. I’ll get a divorce. And be single. I do everything myself anyway. Why should I do it for him? I have people say that to me. And all of a sudden I realized I found a jewel in my life and that is becoming a head without becoming a ruler. But being involved in everything, knowing things. And I’m still. Is that not me today?

0:34:39 – (Kathy Gray): Sure.

0:34:40 – (Steve Gray): Still and everything. Yeah. But I like it. I like being a leader. I like being the man. I don’t want to take your job, but I like doing my job. So that was my unexpected I saw. You know, when you asked me that, I was trying to think, think, think. And I never shared this one before. I thought that was an unexpected adventure in my life when I’m not just going to be a husband, but I’m going to take on.

0:35:07 – (Steve Gray): As you know, I knew not only homework, I drilled them on boys. And.

0:35:13 – (Kathy Gray): Yes, she did.

0:35:14 – (Steve Gray): Yes. And ran a few off.

0:35:16 – (Kathy Gray): Yes, she did.

0:35:17 – (Steve Gray): And frightened a few.

0:35:18 – (Kathy Gray): In powerful ways.

0:35:19 – (Steve Gray): In powerful ways that. I guess we’ll tell those stories later.

0:35:22 – (Kathy Gray): Maybe some other day when we want.

0:35:23 – (Steve Gray): To laugh at some of the things we did or have. We’ll have to bring Bobbie, our daughter on Brooke to come on and talk about their adventures. Brooks Brook’s husband’s in the room sitting over there. And she’s got a few stories too. Or maybe she’s told you my involvement unexpected. And I want to encourage men and women, but everybody start with who you are. Because the dad skills. They’re in there. They’re in there. I just like most people, dads don’t use them lazy. Or we just turn it over to you. So I took those skills.

0:36:01 – (Steve Gray): I did not have to go and fast and pray for skills I just had to be and put together and say what would be the best thing for somebody else. For either God, for Jesus, for the girls, whatever. For you. I need to become. And I don’t know if it’s okay to. Like you said, it’s okay to tell stories and stuff. But do you see? Even we’ve been. We’re going on 50 years of. Well, ministry. I was going to say, but 50 years of marriage.

0:36:30 – (Kathy Gray): Marriage also. Yeah.

0:36:31 – (Steve Gray): That’s a long time. We won’t even think how. How long that is. But. But do you see that even today I take the responsibility of a house and if. And. And I. I want to nurture you without being your boss. Sometimes I might sound like a boss. I hope I don’t. But you know, maybe I don’t handle everything perfectly. Yeah, nobody handles everything perfectly. But you know, my goal is for you to find your purpose.

0:37:02 – (Kathy Gray): My purpose.

0:37:04 – (Steve Gray): And be who God’s called you to be. And I want to come against and fight and pray and do warfare against anything that would rob you of your purpose. So my purpose now has become you. My purpose is God. My purpose is Jesus. What about our church? My purpose is the church. I love our church and I love the church people. My purpose. But I love you and I love our church. So every day of my life is formed around a purpose and to the ability, if possible.

0:37:39 – (Steve Gray): It’s not me. Would you agree? That’s it.

0:37:42 – (Kathy Gray): I totally agree.

0:37:43 – (Steve Gray): Yeah. Now, do I do it 100%? I don’t know if anybody does 100%, but that’s what I do every day. Every day I get up and join. What’s the purpose today? And it’s either going to be you or my kids or my grandkids or the church or God or Jesus or a strange. Give money away. Whatever. Whatever.

0:38:02 – (Kathy Gray): Yeah.

0:38:03 – (Steve Gray): I can’t think of getting up and saying, well, what about me? What about me? Because I found. I found me in him. In him and in you and in them and grandkids, wonderful. You know, and kids, grandkids. And even in foster care. Yes, we should have done this better. But we just got a note about a few weeks ago from one of those girls. I had no idea where she even lives now because kind of lost track, you know, she grew up and went her way and got out of foster care and thanked us for the guidance.

0:38:42 – (Steve Gray): The dad part of it thanked us for the guidance and the lessons she learned in the church and in our family. You want to end on a scripture today? You want to. People like this scripture. I think you know this scripture better than I do. Really? Because you one time taught on it even a little deeper way than most people think. Why don’t you head to that scripture and give us a few minutes on it before we end?

0:39:09 – (Kathy Gray): All right, well, Jeremiah 29:11, and God is talking actually to the whole house of Israel, and then we bring that into our lives today. For I know the plans that I have for you, says the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, and plans to give you hope and a future. And, you know, plans to give you hope and a future. And actually, as I dug into the meaning of that, it actually means plans to give you my expected end for your life.

0:39:43 – (Kathy Gray): My plans are to give you have my plans fulfilled. That’s what your future is. And so that can give us hope. And I tell you, I’m so thankful for that. That. That I understand all throughout my life, everything as I moved along now according to his purpose.

0:40:02 – (Steve Gray): So God. Yeah. Plans to prosper you and not harm you. People know that. I’ve heard him quote it. It’s a personal scripture for a lot of people.

0:40:11 – (Kathy Gray): Yes, it is.

0:40:11 – (Steve Gray): It’s a great one to have posted in your house. It’s a great one to teach your kids. But could we just. One more time before we end. Could you define that again? God?

0:40:20 – (Kathy Gray): It means what it means as he’s prospering us and helping us on the way. It’s to fulfill his plan, purpose. And his purpose for us, that’s his purpose, is through our lives as we trust him, keep renewing our mind, obeying him and doing with what we have now and who we are now. It’s his purposes that are going to actually come. His expected end. He expects a good end. He expects me to live my whole life according to who he is and to be that foster mom, to be that wife, to be that one who has the opportunity to speak and to lead and help our church.

0:41:06 – (Kathy Gray): And that gives me hope. But it leads me to his expected end. It’s going to be good. It is good. And so that’s what I love about.

0:41:15 – (Steve Gray): The word of God and a lot of people. It says prosper you. Well, it’s easy. Well, I want God to prosper me, so I start thinking of money and all that. So God’s prosperity is through him. He’s not opposed to the money. He certainly doesn’t want to harm us, but it’s through his purpose. So we know he says all that God’s got. Kathy can start working for you. But let’s focus in who do I love? Do I really love God? Is it just nominal? In name only. I’m a Christian.

0:41:52 – (Steve Gray): Have I really developed a relationship with the love of God? Because as you know, here I’m getting off this. I’m about ready to end now. I’m going again. But as you know, go any church in America and you go into Sunday school class, what age you want? Second grade, third grade, whatever it is. And they’re teaching and they go in and we’re going to sing a song today. And what song we going to sing, teacher?

0:42:16 – (Steve Gray): We’re going to sing Jesus Loves Me. And that’s good. He does. And we’re going to go away. And we want to make sure that the kids know, we want to make sure the adults know. We want to make sure all the new believers and the teenagers that God loves you right and that we’re going to find is that almost 100%, yes. And what are we not going to find? We’re not going to find that. That’s not where God started.

0:42:45 – (Steve Gray): Yeah, God started. He said, this is my command for you. That you love me.

0:42:51 – (Kathy Gray): Yeah.

0:42:52 – (Steve Gray): With all your heart, soul, mind and strength. The gospel. Well, the Bible, the kingdom and the Bible and the gospel. You know what it starts? Jesus said, this is the greatest commandment. Love God and love your neighbor. But it starts with loving God. You can go to a thousand churches, to a thousand Sunday school classes, and there won’t be one single lesson on loving God. There won’t be one requirement, if you can, because the people don’t realize God didn’t say, do it if you feel like it.

0:43:26 – (Steve Gray): He required us or he required them when he said it, to love him. It’s a requirement. Now. Once you get there, the whole thing opens up. So he said. So Paul wrote and said, I got to do this. God will put everything he’s got for you towards you, around you, surround you with goodness and greatness and songs of deliverance. If you love God. He didn’t say if you believe God loves you, he does. But that’s not where this journey starts. It’s not where the power starts. It’s not where the blessings start.

0:44:04 – (Steve Gray): Love God and then. And grab his purpose and let’s review it. His purpose is to start with who you already are. You use everything you’ve got for him. That’s his purpose. Then he expands it more and the purpose widens. Widens. And you realize, man, he’s using everything he’s got to increase my purpose in life. Cause my purpose is him. And now I’ve been pulled into his purpose. And now you can use Jeremiah, his plan to prosper you.

0:44:39 – (Steve Gray): He going to use everything he’s got, Kathy, to prosper you. And to not let you get harmed, to not harm you. He’s not going to harm you and give you hope and a future. Why? Because everything he’s got is working for your good. But let’s get it right. Let’s get it in order. And let’s start with loving God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength. And then God’s purpose is going to come into your life.

0:45:05 – (Steve Gray): Good stuff.

0:45:06 – (Kathy Gray): Good stuff.

0:45:07 – (Steve Gray): Hey, I hope you’ll tell your friends about these discussions we’re having and these lessons. They’re life changing. I don’t know. Maybe. Maybe, Kathy. Maybe everybody’s listening to everybody and everybody’s getting their life changed and everybody’s listening going, oh, wow, that changed my life. But I’m not sure. So this is life changing. You’re not going to hear all this everywhere. Some places. But we hope you’ll tell your friends, right? Tell your friends about this podcast. Get on it, watch it. Every single week it comes on and.

0:45:37 – (Steve Gray): And join us as we begin to apply our faith to every area of our life. Cause more faith produces what, Kathy?

0:45:46 – (Kathy Gray): More life.

0:45:47 – (Steve Gray): More faith. More life. Till next time. Bye