I once believed that being true to oneself was the pinnacle of personal growth, but as I share in this episode, embracing the qualities we lack is what truly catalyzes transformation. From my own transition from disengagement to becoming a recognized figure in the Christian community, I discuss the power of stepping beyond our comfort zones. This isn’t just about acquiring new talents; it’s about a holistic development that touches every aspect of our lives, from our ministries to our personal relationships, and the undeniable breakthroughs that follow.
Key Takeaways:
- Weakness is not attractive: Steve emphasizes the importance of projecting strength and certainty in various aspects of life, such as work, relationships, and personal growth.
- Stop proving who you are: Instead of trying to prove oneself or seeking validation from others, Steve encourages listeners to focus on becoming who they are not. This involves stepping out of their comfort zones and developing new qualities and skills.
- Embrace change: Steve highlights the power of change and transformation, drawing inspiration from biblical figures who embraced their calling and became who they were not to fulfill their destinies.
- Take responsibility for your life: Steve emphasizes the importance of taking full responsibility for one’s life and decisions, rather than blaming others or making excuses.
- Overcome fear: Steve encourages listeners to overcome fear and anxiety, as these emotions often hold people back from achieving their full potential.
Where To Dive In:
0:00:00 Introduction and desire to help improve listeners’ lives
0:00:22 Discussion on the misuse of prophecy in the church
0:01:49 Addressing various areas of life where improvement is desired
0:03:01 Weakness is not attractive; importance of being certain
0:05:11 The power of quiet authority and the importance of integrity
0:07:08 Advice for men seeking relationships: avoid weakness and take responsibility
0:08:34 Overcoming fear and living fearlessly
0:09:41 Hard work and the importance of working hard for success
0:10:23 Biggest mistake people make: trying to prove themselves
0:12:02 Need to focus on becoming someone new rather than proving who you are
0:13:14 Make a list of all the things you’re not.
0:13:47 Taking responsibility for your life and personal growth.
0:14:17 Learning to develop what you are not.
0:15:15 Overcoming challenges and learning new skills
0:16:43 Stepping out of your comfort zone to achieve success.
0:17:36 Embracing change and becoming the person you are not.
0:19:05 Examples from the Bible: Abraham, Joseph, Moses, Paul.
0:23:22 Transformation and change through faith in Jesus.
0:24:21 Promise of transformation in the future.
0:24:52 The same power that changes you at the end of the age is here today to change you.
0:25:24 Stop defending who you are and start working on becoming who you are not.
0:26:11 Jesus became something he is not, so you can become something you are not.
0:27:18 Take responsibility for your life and become who you are not.
0:28:10 Get the book “If You Only Knew” and “My Absurd Religion” to understand the truth.
0:29:07 Be strong in the Lord and his mighty power to succeed and change the world.
About the host:
Steve Gray is the founding and senior pastor of Revive Church KC. He has been in the full time ministry for over 40 years and was launched into national and international recognition in the late 1990’s as the leader of the historic Smithton Outpouring, and again in 2009 when he lead the Kansas City Revival which was televised nationally on the Daystar television network. Steve is also a veteran musician, songwriter, recording artist and published author. His books include When The Kingdom Comes, Follow The Fire, My Absurd Religion, and If You Only Knew.
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Transcript:
0:00:00
Hey everyone. How many times have you been told hear this message? It’s going to change your life. You’ll never be the same again. I’ve heard them too, and I didn’t change this one is going to change your life. How to become what God called you to be and how to change the world. Don’t miss it. Hello, everyone, and welcome again to another podcast. More faith, more life. I want to help you today. I want your life to get better.
0:00:22
And that’s what we’re talking about, how to use our faith to make our life better. And God wants to help make your life better. I want to help make your life better. But Zion and I. Zion, you hear me mention his name, producer director of this. We were just talking before we started today about how many people consider themselves or have ministries that they call themselves prophets or they give prophecy, and we both comment the same thing. It’s either just gibberish of unimportant stuff.
0:00:52
But I mentioned it’s just like the same old, same old. You know what they’re going to say? They’re going to say great things are coming your way. And a lot of times you notice the prophets in the Bible, they didn’t always say great things were going to come your way. But the level of prophecy in the church should always be to exhort, to comfort, to build up. But that’s the prophecy. People in the church, that’s not a prophet.
0:01:19
A prophet would be one that has a message from God for everybody, not just that person or this person or that person. So that’s another subject we’ll have to do later. But I want to tell you words today that can be prophetic. If you’ve been praying, Lord, what am I doing wrong? How can I make my life better? How can I get ahead in life? How can I improve financially? Relationships, job. Just relationships on the job too. Job, relationship.
0:01:49
I’m not happy in my job. Maybe you’d like to be in the ministry. Maybe you are in some kind of ministry, maybe local in the church, and it’s not really going anywhere. It’s okay, but it’s just not going the direction and growing the way you’d like it to. And then we want to talk about doing better in your soul, and your soul is your mind, your will and your emotions. We’ll get all tormentors out, every voice going off and just driving you all those things.
0:02:16
So I want to help you get ahead and read this scripture to you. It says, from Ephesians 610, finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Great scripture. Right. How do you do that? Where do you start? Where do you start to be strong in the Lord? Do you just raise your muscles and say, I’m going to do this, I’m going to press on, but mostly when. As soon as you make that decision. What are you doing? You’re in your own strength again. It’s not his strength. It’s not being strong in his mighty power. You’re just up in your own mighty power. So let’s go the opposite direction. All right? Let’s go the opposite direction of trying to do better, push harder and be a better you.
0:03:01
So let’s start out with this. When it says, be strong in the Lord and his mighty power, understand this. Weakness is not attractive. Weakness is not attractive. And if you put across weakness, you’re not going to be the first to get the raise. You’re not going to be the first that people call on for help. You’re not going to be the one that advances because you appear weak. And I noticed that a lot of people today, and I really, both men and women, but I noticed a lot just because I’m a man.
0:03:32
How many men, and even Christian men, because I deal a lot in that area, they appear weak. They walk weak, their heads hanging weak. They look scared, or their shoulders are down, or their heads down even. I was talking to someone about, in our church, about just walking through the aisle. When you come down the aisle for church, church, maybe it just started and you’re coming down to get your seat or whatever.
0:03:59
And I mentioned, like, how many people walk down the aisle week. You know what? They look at the floor, there’s people all around them. There’s a crowd all around them. And they look at the floor, they look somewhere else. Their eyes don’t meet. They look afraid, they look nervous. Hey, reach out to some people. Be strong. Be strong in the Lord. Now, why do you need to be strong in the Lord? Because we want you. I want you to tap into the strength of God because that is the strength that you are not, rather than into the strength that you are.
0:04:35
And so I talked more about that the other day with some folks about weakness is not attractive. What is attractive? Be certain. Do you know the Bible says faith is being certain of what we hope for. It’s being sure of what we hope for if you’re going to walk by more faith. A faith person has surety, has strength. They are sure. They are completely certain. And so you want to be certain. And this is not certain in your own strength.
0:05:11
This is faith in the strength of God, at the power of God and the ways of. So walk with some, huh? You have a savior. You have a God. You’re not alone. The Holy Spirit, everything. God’s working for you. And there’s great things, opportunity to walk in that. I talked to him about this. I’ve talked about quiet power. A lot of times, people think that noisy power is what you do. I notice sometimes parents, no reflection on you, Zion. If I mentioned parents and you happened to yell at your kids recently, but, you know, the routine is that eventually just yelling doesn’t work. You can’t just yell. And a lot of parents get to the frustrated part where they begin to yell, even at their teenagers.
0:05:57
And I try to teach and help people understand that. I never had to yell. I don’t remember maybe once in 20 years of raising kids or whatever or more longer than that, but I never raised my voice. You know what? Because quiet power, authority doesn’t have to. And people respect that. People respect it. They respect somebody. That’s certain. And quiet power. And then most of all, walk in. Integrity. Integrity.
0:06:26
Take full responsibility for your life. That’s a rare person. Today. Everybody’s looking for somebody to blame or for an excuse. Wise is the person that makes no excuse and looks and says, listen, I’m responsible for myself. I could have made a lot of different decisions, and I didn’t, and now I’m responsible for that. Now I might want to change it. Right? I also mentioned this. I’ll talk to the guys. I can’t talk to the girls on this one. I talk to all the guys that are looking for a girlfriend or a wife, or you want to ask somebody to marry or you want to get a special person in your life. I told them, like, okay, let’s go over it again, guys.
0:07:08
In this culture, men are portrayed as weak on tv, particularly the sitcoms. Stop it. Don’t copy it. Right? All right. If you want to get a woman in your life, take what I’m saying. Weakness is not attractive. Okay? Weakness is not attractive. Be certain. Walk with a certainty. Talk with a certainty. Be certain of who you are, where you’re going, what you’re doing. You don’t have to take all credit.
0:07:38
Say, with God’s help, God’s will. I’m praying about this, doing better and taking this, but you still got to be certain. But you don’t have to be certain alone. You have a God, okay? And then integrity. Women like integrity. Everybody likes it. But you want to gain favor with the women, take responsibility for your life. Let them say you are a person responsible for yourself. No excuses, no whining, no complaining.
0:08:03
Right? It’s not my fault. It’s the way I wasn’t treated right when I was a kid. Nobody wants to hear that. It makes you unattractive, okay? So now I’m just helping you get the girls now, right? Okay. All you single guys out there wondering why you can’t get a date, try some of these things that I’m telling you today, okay? So when we take that and we begin to realize that these. Oh, wait, I want to add one more to it that I added, and that is, stop being afraid.
0:08:34
Work on fear. Some fear, okay, is important. You don’t want to go jump off a building because you’re not afraid. That’s ridiculous. That’s foolishness. But the fears that are, that’s not controlling most people. Most people, as I taught many, many times, are afraid of things. And guess what? That are never going to happen. Probably never going to happen. So get rid of all those voices of fear. Stop being afraid.
0:09:03
Right? And I wrote down this on a piece of paper. Let me find it here. The fearless live limitless. The fearless live limitless. We limit ourselves by too much fear. Anxiety, fear, trepidation. Afraid to step out and work hard. Be a hard worker. Just plan. If you want to succeed, especially if you want to start a business, a side business. You work for somebody else to get that paycheck, but then you want to start a side business or whatever, you can succeed at most of them, but you have to work hard.
0:09:41
And that’s the part they don’t tell you. All right? Work hard. All right, so let’s back up now a little bit here where I talked about the biggest mistake that I see people making. When they get to the point where you’re a good worker. I mean, you have a job and you’re a fair worker, you’re a good worker, you’re doing okay. Hopefully you could be the best worker. But now, in the area of work, job relationships, parenting ministry, church relationships, home relationships, whatever we’re talking about is most people are making this one big mistake.
0:10:23
They are driven by a culture that’s so insecure that most people, without realizing it, are going through life trying to prove who they are, trying to prove they were right. Maybe they felt all along their parents didn’t approve of them, or your parents didn’t think you were very smart or whatever. So now you’re not living at home anymore or you’re married or whatever, and yet you’re still driven. You’re still trying to prove something to your mom or dad or grandma or teacher or former boss or former friends.
0:10:59
You’re still trying to prove you were right. And now the worst one of all, you’re trying to prove you know what you’re doing and you know who you are. Now, most people think that they’re running their life based on what they know they like, okay? They know what they like or they think they do and they’re running their life like that. Okay? So here’s what I want you to do. I want you to start thinking if you’re a responsible person, you have already done everything you know to do to succeed.
0:11:36
That doesn’t mean you’re failing, but you’re not succeeding. You’re not prospering. You’re not moving ahead. You’re doing okay financially, but you’re living paycheck to paycheck, whatever. You’re okay. You’re making the car payment, but it’s eating up everything. And you don’t ever have extra. And when you do, you’re using credit cards for extra. All right? So here’s what I want you to begin to think about.
0:12:02
You are going to fail. You’re not going to prosper. You’re not going to succeed. If you continue in life to try to prove who you are, prove you are right, prove you know what you’re doing and prove you know who you are right. How can I get you to succeed? Here’s what I need you to do. You need to begin develop not who you are. What is causing you to fail or not succeed is because of who you are, not.
0:12:38
Okay. You’ve maxed out who you are. Okay, good. You’re using your talent as best you know, and you’re trying to work hard. Maybe you try to be honest, you try to second a sideline job. You try to be a better dad. All these things, okay? What you need to do is stop proving who you are and stop proving you know what you’re doing. What you need to do is start being who you are not. So take the list. Maybe you’re not that outgoing.
0:13:14
Maybe you are fearful, maybe you’re not a brave, you’re not a strong person. You’re not brave. You tend to back down. You tend to be fearful. Okay, so make a list of all the things you’re not. Because if you were brave, if you were certain, right, if you had that quiet power, if you walked in integrity with taking responsibility for your life. And then what else are you not? Well, let me give you an example.
0:13:47
My life fell apart while I was in the ministry. At the time, there was nothing to blame myself for. I didn’t really do anything wrong. I was just going through life doing pretty good. And it was other people. It was other people doing stuff, but I could not get anywhere blaming other people. So I started taking responsibilities, and there’s things in my life that I have not followed through with and I could do better, okay?
0:14:17
So I began to think what I’m not. And through that, I got a breakthrough, because I heard God talking about this word, revival, renewal, revival, the power of God. And like, I had none of it. I had no experience, really. Never seen it work, heard about it, watched a few things on the Internet or whatever. Me. It never through me. And so all of a sudden, I had to begin to think about, well, what about developing what I’m not?
0:14:46
And so I began to ask God for it. I began to realize this is what I’m not. There’s some things I’m not. And I can be strong in the Lord, though, and in his mighty power, because he has the ability to create in me what I’m not. Nobody else does. And so I went along. Okay, so success struck, as I told you, like, I went from obscurity to celebrity, sort of Christian, in the Christian realm, not in the worldly realm, just the Christian realm, kind of a Christian celebrity.
0:15:15
And I was on every talk show, Christian talk show and others, interviews. Everybody seemed like everybody wanted to know what I had to say, which was new for me. Well, then I got asked to write a book. Would you write a book of what’s going on and what’s happening? And I thought, write a book. And I began to think, wow. I told our church the other day, wow. I didn’t pay attention in school. I never did a book report. You say, my granddaughter wants to know.
0:15:46
She’s just amazed. She’s a great student. And how did you get through high school not ever writing a book report? So you get people to write them for you. You figure out ways. You’ve seen that in movies and comedy movies, how somebody will do that laundry. I got people do my laundry for me in college. I never wrote a term paper in all high school. Never. Well, now all of a sudden, I took one English class in college, I think, English one.
0:16:16
You had to. That was it. Now I’m a grown up, been in the ministry years. I get the opportunity that a publisher, a lot of people want to get published, right? A publisher comes to me, say, we want to publish a book by you. I’ve never written anything. Guess what? If I’m going to do this, I’m going to have to become what I’m not. I’m going to have to become a writer. I’m not one. So I began to dig in. I began to study a little bit.
0:16:43
I found another writer who’s a good writer, and found that person. I said, listen, I don’t know how to write anything. Could I write? And then you look at it and you tell me what’s wrong with it. And that’s how I started learning how to write. And I got better and better and better and less and less over the years. And other years, I did two books published right away from two different publishers. I learned to write.
0:17:08
I’m better now. That’s been a few years ago. I’m better now. But I realized if I’m going to advance and be successful, I got to learn to do something. I’m not. I am not a writer, but I’m going to learn, and I’m going to find out how to do it. All right? So, fortunately, in the early years of ministry, I knew music, but I’d never written a song before. I was a Christian. And as I become a Christian, I’m traveling, we’re doing music. I need to write some songs. It’s going to make me more successful. And it did.
0:17:36
I’m not a songwriter, but I’m going to have to become what I’m not. So what was holding me back was not what I was. And what was holding me back is trying to prove that I’m valuable as I am. Okay. So what? Okay, you’re valuable, I’m valuable. But I’m stuck. I want to succeed. I want to break out. I want to get in different circles of people. I want to influence more people. I want to make more money. Whatever you say. So what’s holding you back?
0:18:05
See, what you need to do is, what’s holding you back is not who you are. It’s who you’re not. And most people are not brave enough to become who they are not, and they don’t know how to become who they are not. And it’s too hard. It’s too scary, it’s too difficult. But that’s how you’ll succeed, personality wise, maybe you’re an introvert, you get cranky. You’re hard to get along with. Well, you need to get rid of that, become who you are not get a personality.
0:18:32
Right? Get a sense of humor, laugh at yourself a little bit. Be easy to get along with. Stop being critical. See, you say, well, I’m not the life of the party, or I’m not that outgoing. Okay? I wasn’t either. I’m by nature a very clothed introvert and satisfied with being one. But I can’t be that. I can’t be an introvert. I can’t be always analyzing how I feel and my feelings and then wanting to talk about my feelings to everybody. That’s going to make you fail.
0:19:05
Right? You got to be the person you’re not. And that is, you are outgoing, you’re successful, you’re strong, you are happy with the direction God’s taken your life. Get him in your life. Okay? So one of the things that will help you, one of the things that will help you is in the kingdom of God, change is possible now, not just you changing yourself, but change that is not of yourself. Now, in the Bible, there were people, let’s just names that you’d know, okay, that were not. They’re going to have to become what they’re not, okay?
0:19:48
I mentioned this the other day. Abraham. You’ve heard of Abraham? Abraham was minding his own business. That’s my wording. And Bible doesn’t say that, but his father was an idol maker and probably an idol worshiper, which is the home that Abraham grew up in around being idol worshiping. Well, God tells him, I want to take you, and I’m going to make my kind of people out of you. I’m going to make you a great nation. I’m going to bless you. I’m going to make you a blessing, and we’re going to start a new kind of people and we’re going to start with you.
0:20:19
And he’s like, what? And God says, now I need you to go where I’m going to send you. He didn’t even know where it was. He just had to start going, and that was not who he was. Idol worship home, right? And here the real God, the true God, is talking to him. Well, if he’s going to go and become a blessing and be blessed, and God really wanted to bless him, by the way, God says God made him rich, not just blessed, like, I feel good about myself blessed, okay?
0:20:50
He had to become what he was, not the leader of a new nation, and he had to become a blessing, not an idol worshiper. All right? So he had to do that. Joseph in the know, you might not know, okay, who’s Joseph? Remember Technicolor Dreamcoat? The coat. And they made the movie a prince of Egypt about him, right? Or. No, wait, that was Moses. Did they ever make a musical? There’s a musical. That’s what it is. Joseph and the Technicolor Dreamcoat.
0:21:21
It was a great musical and you might know it by that. But anyway, he got thrown in a well by his brothers, thinking he would die, be gone, because they didn’t like him. And he upset him and he got rescued and he ended up in a prison and everything. But through that, he gets offered the job by Pharaoh, Pharaoh of Egypt, most powerful man in the world at the time, to be his second in command. What did he know about that?
0:21:53
What did he know? He was the youngest of all the brothers. They threw him down a well. He’s been trying to survive in prison. What does he know about running a nation? But he was strong in the Lord and became strong in his mighty power. And God changed him and made him into what he was led. And he ran the whole country for Pharaoh, maybe some more. Moses, you know Moses now. And that is the prince of Egypt, by the way. Movie, cartoon movie, animated. Now they have a musical of that, too.
0:22:27
God said, I want you to deliver my people. You know, that, the burning bush, all that. And guess what? Moses is saying. I can’t do it. I can’t speak. I’m not. And in fact, he had killed an Egyptian 40 years ago. So in Egypt, he’s a murderer. And I want to send you back. Okay? Courage was not him. Courage. He’s afraid to go back speaking. I’m not. I am not a good speaker, right? So he begins to talk about to God all the things he is not.
0:22:56
And God doesn’t listen or pay any attention because he’s going to make Moses not what he is. He’s going to make him what he’s not. And that’s going to be the deliverer. Paul, in the Bible, the same thing. One last example. He persecutes Christians. He gets them thrown in prison. He approves of their death. Stephen in the Bible, got stoned. They killed him. He’s there applauding, we should say. He didn’t applaud, but approving.
0:23:22
And he’s walking on this road to Damascus, and God strikes him with the power of God. Bang. He experiences God. And guess what? God says, I’m going to tell you what to do. Here’s what you’re going to do. And Paul, his name was Saul at the time, but he changed his name to Paul, is going to become the writer of the New Testament. Biggest writer. He’s going to be an apostle to non-Jews. He is, definitely, because he doesn’t have anything to do with non-Jews. That would have been terrible for him before.
0:23:50
But after God touched him, he’s going to not become what he is. He’s going to become what he’s not. And he became an apostle to non-Jews. So it happened to me. It could happen to you. Listen to this scripture. At the end, the Bible talks about this. At the last, there’ll be a trumpet sound, right? And at the trumpet sound, we will all be changed. Those who believe in Jesus, those believers, because Jesus is the trumpet guy, right? Not some other religion.
0:24:21
And the trumpet sounds, and we will all be changed. Those that have died, they’re in their graves. They’re going to come alive again. They’re going to be resurrected. Those who are alive on the earth, there’s going to be people alive on the earth when the end comes, the end of the age and the trumpet sounds, and he says, and they will be also changed. In the twinkle, I like this. In the twinkling of an eye, in the blink of an eye, bang, you will be changed. All right, now, do you believe that?
0:24:52
Do you believe that’s going to happen? Do you believe in that power? You need to have faith that that’s going to happen and believe God for it. Well, get this, though. The same power that changes you at the end of the age, from mortal to immortality, from a regular body to a glorious body that brings those people out of the grave and they get a glorious body like Jesus. The same power that’s going to do that and change you is the same power that’s here today to change you.
0:25:24
It’s not a new power, not an impossible power. That power is here to change you and can change you like these guys I mentioned into what you are not. Because what you are not is what’s stopping you from succeeding. You’re doing okay in who you are, but you’re maxed out. You’re not going to touch the world. You’re not going to be amazing. You’re not going to have people go, wow. You’re not going to do great things beyond what you can do in your normal. So stop proving yourself, stop complaining. Everybody’s failed you. Take responsibility for your life and now get the power, this power of God in his mighty power, be strong in the Lord. And it’s time for you, by faith, to become who you are not.
0:26:11
And you can, we all can. Takes a little time. Outgoing, strong. Learn. Study. Because if you don’t do that. You’re stuck who you are because you’re using all that you know to use to succeed right now. But it’s not enough. God wants to help you. That’s the beauty. Only in the kingdom of God can you become through his power something you are not. And that’s what Jesus did. The Bible says, he who knew no sin became sin for us. He didn’t have any sin. Guess what? He became sin.
0:26:47
What is that? He became what he’s not. And then it says, so we could become the righteousness of God in Christ so you could become something you are not. Jesus became something he is not. So you can become something you are not. What’s stopping you from advancing and succeeding and growing and impressing and making more money? You need to start. Stop defending who you are, stop proving who you are and begin to get to work on becoming who you are not.
0:27:18
And you will succeed. And that’s what most people won’t do. But you can do it in the kingdom of God, right? Hey, remind you, too, the book. Speaking of that, if you only knew that book, you got to get, it’s a little bit of money now, but you got to get it. You got to get caught up and you tell people that and they like, I probably read enough and you go to your regular bookstore. And I’m not against that. I’m going to have a book in there myself.
0:27:45
But most of the books you’re going to see are just the repeated of everything. And they’re ministering to your poor old self hurting self. This book is going to tell you that America is sick and what we needed to get people. Our people are sick and what they need to get well. So if you only knew. A guide to the clueless generation. It is prophetic, it is strong. It’s maybe things you’ve never heard before, maybe.
0:28:10
So get it. Will you do that? My absurd religion should probably follow up on that. Just go to morefaithmorelife.com and you can get my absurd religion. You probably need that to give you some backdrop. And by the way, listen, some of the big Christian bookstores took it out of their stores or asked me if they could because they didn’t want that stuff to be said. You know why? Because I’m telling the truth in it.
0:28:37
Of how even the church, modern day church, is run by money and power and all kinds of different things, absurd things. So get that book, too. Get caught up. My first book, when the kingdom comes, is the one I was referring to. And there’s another one. I think that’s all we have up right now. And if you like music, you ought to find out if I can sing. Get the CD. Got to download. Get it. It’s called you will restore. So that’s all I got to talk about today. I hope this helped you, that you’re getting around the fact that this is the greatest advice you’ve ever got.
0:29:07
Be quiet. Stop complaining. No whining. Get integrity for who you are and now become who you are not. And you will succeed and change the world and affect a lot of people. Right. So be strong in the Lord and his mighty power. Till next time. Bye.
